Aunt V@&!^@!

Daniel was pushing Katelyn along in the grocery cart when we stopped to look at pancake syrups. This is what followed:
Kate: "Daddy, who's that lady on the bottle?"
Daniel: "Well, her name's Aunt Jemima."
Kate (of course raising her voice louder as she spoke): "Aunt Vagina?"
Daniel: "NO, Aunt JEMIMA."
Kate: "Why's her name Aunt Vagina?" "DADDY, I SAID WHY'S HER NAME AUNT VAGINA?!?!?!?"
If she said it once, she must've said it 20 times with her volume increasing and her pronunciation getting more and more clear.

THIEF!

We were in a LONG line at the grocery store, and Katelyn noticed that there was a lady in another line that had opened a bag of chips to snack on in line. So, doing her civic duty, she pointed out her observation in a very loud way:
"HEY! HEY, LADY! YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THOSE! STOP EATING- YOU HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE AND BUY THEM!!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT?!?!?"

God's Magic Wand

"I know! How 'bout God uses his magic wand to turn the devil into a nice guy?"

Kate's Quick Quotes of the Day

1. "I'm feeling the music, Mommy! Do ya feel it?!?!?"
2. "LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME DO WHAT I DO!"
3. "My teachers teach me so good!"
4. "WOW! Mascara is like magic!!!"
5. "If I do that one more time, you should spank me."
6. "This time out doesn't even make sense."

Kate's Newly Coined Phrase

Katelyn got in trouble for saying, "What the heck?!?!" So now, she has replaced it with,
"What the GOSH?!?!?"
Hmmm. . .I guess that's better. . .

The Kicking Spider

After not doing as she was told, and telling me that she "didn't care" about listening to me the 1st time, she got a spanking and was quickly taken to time-out. This is what I heard from time-out. . .
"I thought about it and. . .I do care. . .a little bit."
"MOMMY! I SAID I CARE A LITTLE!"
a few seconds later, when she realizes I'm not coming to get her. . .
"Mommy, there's a bug in my room! It's a spider!"
"MOMMY, DID YA HEAR ME?!?!?"
"AHHHHHH!!!"
"IT JUST BIT ME!!! . . . OH NO, IT'S KICKIN' ME IN THE FACE!!!. . . IT JUST GOT ME IN THE EYE!!!"

Kate's Quick Quote of the Day

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE NAKED IN CHURCH!"
(as Daniel was trying to change her clothes in one of the classrooms after the service)

Kate's Quick Quote of the Day

"I've got my own nail polish- don't mess with me."

'S' is NOT a number!

First of all, let me preface this by saying that we had a rough morning today. Katelyn was arguing with me every chance she got, and while most of the time I would not argue back, I could not stop myself- I was at my breaking point!

Kate (holding up one of her fruit snacks shaped like a number): "Mommy, what number is this?"

Me: "It's a 5."

Kate: "Nope- it's an 's', see?"

Me: "No, it's a 5. 'S' is not a number."

Kate: "Well, it IS an 's', it's not a 5."

Me (This is me- snapping): "I'VE BEEN IN SCHOOL PRACTICALLY MY WHOLE LIFE. . .YOU ARE 3. . .I HAVE A MASTER'S DEGREE. . .IT'S A 5!!!!!"

Kate: "WELL, I GO TO PRESCHOOL AND it IS an 'S'!!!!!"

I'm 'lergic' (AKA 'allergic')

Me: "Kate, if you finish your dinner, you can have a brownie."

Kate (trying to act unphased): "I don't love brownies. . .I'm 'lergic' to them."

Me: "They have sprinkles."

Kate: "Sprinkles?. . . I LOVE brownies!"

Me: "I thought you were allergic?"

Kate: "Just sometimes"

Side Note: She is also 'lergic' to naps, green beans, and panties that don't don a picture of a Disney princess.
She has also now informed us that she is 'lergic' to the devil.

Play-Doh (AKA Play-Toh)

Kate: "I know how to open my 'Play-Toh' myself, Mommy!" 

Me: "Wow, really?" 

Kate: "Yep, I just throw it on the floor and step on it really hard and it opens right up!"

A little later. . .

Kate: "Can I have a treat for cleaning up my 'Play-Toh'?" 

Me: "No. You did a good job cleaning up, but you don't get a treat EVERY time you clean." 

Kate (very matter-of-factly): "Well, I guess next time I'm gonna just let you clean it up then."

I wasn't talkin' to you!

Kate: "Thank you for this yummy dinner. Thank you for eggs and bacon!" 

Me: "You're welcome." 

Kate: "Um, I wasn't talkin' to you. I was talkin' to God!" "Now, it's YOU turn to tell God thank you." "Go!"

Birds & the Bees (the 3 Year Old version)

When I was still pregnant with her little brother, Jack, a couple months ago:

Kate:"How did Baby Jack get in there?" 

Me: "God gave him to us." 

Kate: "NO, Mommy, I mean REALLY HOW did God put him IN there?!?!?" 

Me: "Do you want to watch Dora?"

Mean Mommy Needs Jail Time

Well, Kate just called the police on me using her princess cellphone. The conversation went like this: 

"Hello? Yes, police? My mommy is being mean and not listening to me. You need to come get her and put her in jail! Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye."

Who Let Yiayia Out?

Conversation between Kate and her Yiayia (grandmother): 

Yiayia:"Katelyn, come give me hugs- I missed you!" 

Kate:"Why did you miss me?" 

Yiayia:"Because I didn't see you yesterday." 

Kate:"Why? Grandpa wouldn't let you out yesterday?"

Daddy Said What?!?!

Me: "Katelyn, we need to go to your room and clean up. You've got A LOT of toys to put back in your toybox!" 

Kate: "Don't worry Mommy, I made a path already- Daddy says it's okay as long as I make a path."

Cinderella is a Stalker

Kate: "Daddy, hold my cellphone, but if it's Cinderella, don't answer it. She's been calling me ALL DAY!!!" 

Daniel (with the phone to his ear): "Hello, Cinderella." 

Kate: "See, it's her again, I TOLD you!"

So, I Finally Did It. . .

After much prodding from friends and family, I have started a blog. So, here it is!
Why a blog? Here's the back story. . .
In March of 2007, my husband and I welcomed a beautiful baby girl into our family- Kate. We were immediately in love with this demanding, high maintenance bundle of joy. I just knew she would mirror me as a child. I envisioned her growing as a timid, shy, unassuming people pleaser who clung tight to her mommy. I could not have been any more wrong. This was only the beginning of her lifelong quest to prove me wrong. . .
Fast forward a few months. . .Kate was an early talker. She started and has never stopped! Her vocabulary quickly included words such as 'actually' and 'ridiculous.' Both of these words have been important in her quest of proving me wrong. Such as, "Actually, Mommy, that's not a bird, it's a speckled warbler." And, "Don't be 'idiculous'!" I think this may be her attempt to combine idiot and ridiculous.
Fast forward a couple years. . .With a vocabulary that competes with many adults, our small, helpless baby girl is growing into the most outgoing, talkative, argumentative, quick witted little person we know. Her personality is bigger than she is. Everyday she brings laughter into our home. She also brings her share of challenges with her insanely strong-willed nature and her uncanny manipulation skills.
It is my hope to record some of these moments for the sake of making others laugh, venting when I'm at the brink of a melt down, and showing her later in life how much joy she brought us, along with how much she put us through.