Christmas List

Katelyn was in quite a mood and being very defiant and whining constantly. I reminded her that Santa and his elves were watching, and that if they see her acting that way that they may mark something off of her list. Her response?
"I guess I better add a lot more things to my list then!"

Daddy Used to be Young

(While showing her pictures of Daniel and I when we first started dating)
Kate: Oh, look. . .that's Daddy! Daddy, Is that you when you used to be young?
Daniel (making a disgusted face): Yep, that's me when I was young.
Kate (sensing Daniel's dislike of her comment):  Daddy, you look the same. . .just the same (as she patted him lovingly on the leg)

Thanksgiving

Kate: YAY! It's almost Thanksgiving! That means we get lots of candy!!!
Me: No, we get candy on Halloween, not on Thanksgiving.
Kate: What do we get on Thanksgiving then?
Me: Well, hopefully, a thankful heart. It's a day when we thank God for everything he has given us.
Kate: Oh. . . . . .well, if he gave me candy I would be thankful.

Prayer

Kate: Time to prayer- come over here with me- we all need to pray
Me: Okay, go ahead and start
Kate: Dear God, Thank you for my mommy and my daddy and my baby. . . . . .thank you for my trespasses.
Me: Baby, it's "forgive me my trespasses"
Kate: Oh, okay. Dear God, Thank you for GIVING me my trespasses.

Wooden Spoon

Kate: Mommy, I hope you have the wooden spoon in your purse. Do you?
Me: Yes
Kate: Good, Mommy, I'm proud of you for rememberin'. You may need it if Daddy starts actin' up.

Just Eat Bacon

Kate: "Good vegetables make you grow, but bad vegetables make you shrink. . .I'm not sure which ones are bad, so I better just eat bacon."

Telling on Daddy

In school, Kate has learned many things: letter sounds, numbers, how to share (sometimes). . .and how to be a tattletale & her favorite person to tattle on? Daddy!
Kate: Daddy, can I have some fruit snacks?
Daniel: No, not right now.
Kate: PLEASE!!! Please, can I have some? I was nice and said 'please'!
Daniel: Nope, maybe after dinner.
Kate: MOOOOOMMY. . . . . . DADDY'S ARGUING WITH ME!!!!

Then today at Wendy's, Katelyn was opening her straw. . .
Daniel: Kate, can you open a straw for me? (He only asked her because he was trying to keep her busy)
Kate: Ugh, that's what I'm doing RIGHT now, Daddy. Moooommmmy. . .Daddy's not waiting patiently!
(She gets the straw open and begins to stick it in Daniel's cup) NOW, Daddy, there you go. . .you weren't having patience were you?

'part' (AKA 'smart')

Me: "Katelyn, you are smart enough to do what Daddy and I say the 1st time."
Kate: "I'm 'part' enough to be naughty, too!"

Bear Hugs

Me: Katelyn, come give Mommy a big bear hug!
Kate: Um, Mommy, bears don't give hugs. . .that'd be kinda creepy. . .

Church Box

In Sunday school today, Kate made a money box so she could save her money and bring it to church as an offering on Sundays. After church, we noticed she was going around collecting money in it from various people and thought it was sweet that she was collecting money for her church at such a young age. Well, after speaking to a few of the people that "donated," we realized she was going up and asking people to give her money for her wedding!!! She's determined to be married by the age of 5, so I guess she does need to start saving;)

Ask a priest

For some reason, lately Kate has been obsessively talking about God, heaven, and the devil- actually to a point that is somewhat disturbing. Here are a few of her comments on the subject (there may be more to come, seeing as this has become a major interest for her recently):

"Mommy, if we'll all be in heaven together forever, then why don't we all just die now so we can be together forever already?"

"Why does God let the devil make us do bad things?"

"Can the devil be in our heart like God can?"

"Mommy, did you know the devil is magic? He can turn himself into a snake!"

"I know the devil is Lucifer, but what's his last name?"

"So, if God loves me when I do good things, does that mean the devil loves me when I do bad things?"

"I won't let the devil come in our house! I have to keep him away from Jack! I have to look out for Jack." (She then proceeded to go around the house locking every door)

(trying to remember Lord's Prayer) "in earth as in heaven. . . . . . . " "Mommy, do everybody wear panties in heaven?"

Kate: "Mommy, I don't feel like doing nothing bad. . .the devil must be sleeping."
Me: "I don't think the devil ever sleeps."
Kate: "Oh! Yeah, that's right, cause if the devil sleeped he could get his grumpies out and go back to heaven."

(Talking to her Uncle Kevin) "God says to share. God also says for people to not mess with me."

Favorite adjectives that Kate uses now:

delightful, bea-U-tiful, amazin', interesting, nervous, frustratin', large
"Mommy, is that amazin'?" "Isn't that awesome?" "You're makin' me so nervous!" "I promise I won't get frustratin'." "Look at that bea-U-tiful baby!" "It sure is a delightful day, isn't it?" "I saw a large, large, LARGE spider!"

Do as I say. . .

Me: "Katelyn, it makes Mommy so happy when you do what I ask you too."
Kate: "Mommy, it makes ME so happy when you do what I tell YOU to do!"

Aunt V@&!^@!

Daniel was pushing Katelyn along in the grocery cart when we stopped to look at pancake syrups. This is what followed:
Kate: "Daddy, who's that lady on the bottle?"
Daniel: "Well, her name's Aunt Jemima."
Kate (of course raising her voice louder as she spoke): "Aunt Vagina?"
Daniel: "NO, Aunt JEMIMA."
Kate: "Why's her name Aunt Vagina?" "DADDY, I SAID WHY'S HER NAME AUNT VAGINA?!?!?!?"
If she said it once, she must've said it 20 times with her volume increasing and her pronunciation getting more and more clear.

THIEF!

We were in a LONG line at the grocery store, and Katelyn noticed that there was a lady in another line that had opened a bag of chips to snack on in line. So, doing her civic duty, she pointed out her observation in a very loud way:
"HEY! HEY, LADY! YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THOSE! STOP EATING- YOU HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE AND BUY THEM!!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT?!?!?"

God's Magic Wand

"I know! How 'bout God uses his magic wand to turn the devil into a nice guy?"

Kate's Quick Quotes of the Day

1. "I'm feeling the music, Mommy! Do ya feel it?!?!?"
2. "LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME DO WHAT I DO!"
3. "My teachers teach me so good!"
4. "WOW! Mascara is like magic!!!"
5. "If I do that one more time, you should spank me."
6. "This time out doesn't even make sense."

Kate's Newly Coined Phrase

Katelyn got in trouble for saying, "What the heck?!?!" So now, she has replaced it with,
"What the GOSH?!?!?"
Hmmm. . .I guess that's better. . .

The Kicking Spider

After not doing as she was told, and telling me that she "didn't care" about listening to me the 1st time, she got a spanking and was quickly taken to time-out. This is what I heard from time-out. . .
"I thought about it and. . .I do care. . .a little bit."
"MOMMY! I SAID I CARE A LITTLE!"
a few seconds later, when she realizes I'm not coming to get her. . .
"Mommy, there's a bug in my room! It's a spider!"
"MOMMY, DID YA HEAR ME?!?!?"
"AHHHHHH!!!"
"IT JUST BIT ME!!! . . . OH NO, IT'S KICKIN' ME IN THE FACE!!!. . . IT JUST GOT ME IN THE EYE!!!"

Kate's Quick Quote of the Day

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE NAKED IN CHURCH!"
(as Daniel was trying to change her clothes in one of the classrooms after the service)